I cannot find my penis.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
