I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
