Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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