I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
