those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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