how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
