so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
