Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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