Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
