I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize