OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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