i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
