I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
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I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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