I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
