Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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