apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I only lived at night.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
