They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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