East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
