Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
