I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
