She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
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I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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