Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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