And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
