TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Who died my cat blue again?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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