What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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