ya dads aren't the best wingmen
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
