my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
