living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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