i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize