Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
