why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
