Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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