I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
