the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
