i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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