I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
