apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
