i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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