So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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