So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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