just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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