youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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