i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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