all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
