I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize