Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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