: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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