it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have tasted many bathrooms
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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