Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
