Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
