Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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