"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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