Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
