How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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