these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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