the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize