Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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