I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I AM VODKA MAN
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
