she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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