i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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